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An Education

I think one of the reasons why I have not written about in the blog lately (apart from all the existential and practical problems of life) is because I've thought about feelings, more that concrete words, sounds weird, but yes, or maybe "think feel" does not exist, and rather I mean feel. But I sure do not feel I mean, I'm not particularly sensitive. reflective rather abstract way, I'm doing ball so I'll change the subject, eloquence is not my strong point. Right now I'm sitting in my room with the window open; strange bamboo that was outside but freeze dried with happened at the beginning of February, my poor bamboo died and now I always lose the beautiful view overlooking the sunset.

that view pretty: 3

And if I'm sitting here, really tired, even ran a lot today, I ran poorly the truth lol but I walked a lot today, making the they say is the favorite sport of the girls: buy. The net is not jajajajaja at least for me there! but my mother left me the task of buying a gift to my cousin who will be years and my beautiful friends soon joined me: comimos rico y fuimos a ver la ropa a Shasa, es muy difícil para mí escoger algo de ropa, estaba como babosa viendo los anaqueles y diciendole a mis amigas : PIENSEN, PIENSEN, AYUDENME!!! y ellas así de"es tu prima, tu sabes como se viste!", pero realmente me bloqueo en las tiendas de ropa, el "shopping" no es algo que disfrute mucho. Cuando va mi hermana conmigo, entonces es diferente, porque ella me ayuda y me dice mira esto te quedaría bien y esto se te verá bien con esto. Eso es chido, a veces me doy cuenta que llevo toda la semana con la misma ropa y eso no pasaba cuando vivía aquí Grecia jajaajaja probablemente no debería estar diciendo esto, conste que me baño diario jajajaja pero no tengo imaginación desagraadable HAHAHAHAHAHA that if I could see me now, I scratch my legs a cat and bring 856970205729 barano xD but despite all today was a nice day:) always is when I see the cuckoo's. (And stayed at that I'm the cuckoo in May, the mother of the chicks, so respétenme!)

do not know what the hell I'm talking about, really, my brain brings such barano like my hair. one of my nephews was rushed to hospital for appendicitis, everywhere feel qe life reminds me that "this is the nature of things", things are born, seenferman die, I must accept them, learn to live with that fact . I've realized I'm too sensitive, all this affects me both the degree to get sick myself, and what can be done? Selfishness in practice comes understanding me, and then the wisdom? I would swallow the concepts, and, once inside me, flourish, or rather, take hold, because what I want flowers saliendome by the ears anyway if not I will understand anything at all?

Speaking of something else, and I want to start again my French classes, why the words sound less empty in French, deeper? Could actually be talking about something as inconsequential, but those with the sublime and the sensual R innate: and I'm in love, obsessed, swept with the French language: I want to hear, read, talk, eat, drink, LIVE IT! Today I was watching the film An Education, I really liked, I could really identify with the main character, but I do not know if the plot or because I look like the actress physically, to the deaf (white, dark hair, ETC. ) has the same obsessions as me and their music, books, movies, cigars, their romances and their dreams in French, but she is 17 years old, dammit jajajaajjajaja, however, something is being cooked, well cooked and I'm sure at some point this year and the next I'll be writing the same existential barano but from across the pond, but will not say more because if I am not "prime" ** wink, wink **

And I think writing Baran and tangles are said jajajajajajaja me

not care anyway, today began in April, and was a day sublime, truly beautiful, I felt good emotionally, despite the cat scratches and all, I am seeing a psychologist, I call him Don Old Man and the wave, Don Old Man if you're reading this (because I told my blog, juar juar juar), pretend you have not seen it and let it tell you these things out loud, that every day I dissociate more, and I am Bibis, Lola, Ramona, I'm all 3, you see? that story, which also each day I'm more adult, more mature, and I feel healthier, and yet more rope.
And I'm taking small steps, which turned out to be giant steps, signals that diffuse, but I care, I see jaguar spots everywhere, and cats, many cats, but do not know what the hell does that mean?

Today also saw something that shocked me enough, there was a girl at school whom I greatly admired by playing volleyball (or voleybal? Not know how to write ok lol), well that girl had a great body, really, do not take lesbian, I say objectively, was very athletic and pretty, and today I saw it in drive and it has become very skinny, skinny anorexic skinny, do not understand why? did not look sick or anything, he looked very happy, except for its extreme thinness looked good, I mean we can deduce that he did on purpose, or juzgona I do not know, suppose you have done this on purpose, how because someone with the physical would be thinner? arguably had the perfect body, and now with 10 kilos lighter and looks bad, eating disorders will always intrigue me, why do they occur? if they were biological could be a cure, but if they are only caused by the environment, then why what two people raised by the same family, in the same environment, one develops a disorder and another not? Need to be a biologist, physician, psychologist and psychiatrist, or maybe I asked Don Viejito.

And changing the song, there is someone who loves me, siiiiii, cuesionarme me many things, things I thought if they are good or bad lol satisfied that said I'm not in love or anything, I think that if I've done more selfish and quoting a phrase I read recently "The only place I want to love is Paris jajajjajaja but that does not mean stop me love that makes me think of the song of candies of cyanide, muajajajaja! (6)
Today I was thinking that I have simple tastes good with food, I think the gourmet food and I do not combine, I do not really like cooked things, and how the dishes, things that are not very noticeable that ingredients are, so to say I like vegetable soup that is leading (with the exception of the cream of peas, but because I know he got), or salad with dressing hahaha. My taste leans more sweets and fresh, and certainly I have much street craving a cup of fruit: mango, papaya, pineapple and a little bit of coconut, not much, because I like heavy.
I love smells like coconut. I have a perfume that smells like coconut. And sometimes, I remember the song Volován (or Boloven? Not know how to spell either xD) "and petting you give me lying on the sand, coconut-scented sunscreen, uu uuuuuuuu ..."
I also remember the new song of Avril Lavigne, I'm sorry, I know I hate Avril Lavigne and I too fat since I took down the "Girlfriend" and it basically has not done anything new from ... 2001?, but anyway, the song says:
" All my life I've been good but now, I'm thinking What the hell
All I want is to mess around and I do not really care about
If you love me, if you hate me. . "


well ... if you. read to the end of this post, congratulations, has earned points
1000000 bloggie C'est tout, je suis desolée